Yes, I didn't capitalise the title, à la E.E. Cummings--an ardent Republican who, in all likeliness, wouldn't have approved of today's election result. A misogynistic bully whose entire campaign was based on divisive politics is all set to become the head of the free world--or the new world order, whatever you choose to call it, eh?
The future of the globe's most powerful nation doesn't aspire much confidence. His victory is just one of the many manifestation's of the working classes' frustration. Yes, you don't want the "liberal elite" but electing a sleazy estate agent who mocks women, veterans, disabled people, latinos--bit of an overkill, innit? The Onion probably published its realest post ever, when it said America has, in a breakthrough poll, elected it's first black-hearted president. While I can't vouch for the colour of the President-elect's cardiac organs, I can certainly say that his rhetoric is, without a doubt, dangerous.
Yes, we're scared. But, we'll remain strong. And not do anything, Amen.
We had this unannounced hiatus. Yeah, we learnt some posh words. So, we're sorry--for the break, of course--and for the posh words, as well, just in case you're offended. Guess what I was on Halloween, me--a person with commitment issues, the scariest type of person.
Self-deprecating joke, check. Guess we can move on now. Oops, forgot the pop lyric--and I'm always tired but never of you. Are we even now? lol.
See you around!
If somebody were to have a brain transplant from Maggie Thatcher and a heart transplant from Gordon Brown you'd get something very close to our current prime minister which may be why she resembles one of the melting Nazis from Raiders of the Lost Ark. But, pleasantries aside, this speech of hers marks a momentous outline of where we are heading.
May's Premiership can be summed up as a sort of Christian-tinged statism or Tory paternalism--getting on with governing as dully as possible. Whilst there may be some cosmetic changes, we can expect a great deal of not much, save occasional sanctimony and certainly not the yuppy paradise dreamed of by Boris. Speaking of which...
Opportunity, as Theresa notes is a British value, and features several times in her speech. What the real focus was, however, is the Conservative party value of Opportunism-something which, and I say this in admiration, our current premier is using to the max. She is setting out to make the UK a one party state and crush her rivals in the bargain.
I can't imagine that Theresa has much regard for the charlatan Boris, the disgraced Liam Fox or David Davis who was a thorn in her side as Home Secretary.
Brexit presents the opportunity to (rightly) shaft them with the Brexit debacle while appeasing and unifying the grassroots who seem to have swallowed May's Brexit conversion wholesale, but if it cuts immigration, she's golden.
Some strong rhetoric on inequality and unfairness if delivered on should set a decent milestone into Labour heartlands and go against the Tory comfort zone to besiege a Labour party entrenched in theirs. With UKIP kicking the stuffing out of themselves; literally, in some cases, the only real threat comes from within. Although she should be wary of complacency, she has little to fear- very few people if any can convincingly argue that the June referendum did not include membership of the single market and Nicky Morgan is hardly inspirational.
Welcome to the return of the Mayans, the return of an ancient civilisation inclined to vanish without a trace.
Whilst canny, if May does not match her rhetoric and falls headlong into isolationism that may well be her final fate...
WASHINGTON D.C. (Econmedy #SATIREDAY)— On being asked about his leaked lewd comments, here, Republican Presidential Nominee Donald replied that he wouldn't acknowledge "goddamn facts", before releasing a string of profanities on your correspondent. "After all I've said, folks, that woman's still using facts. Look at me, I'm great and folks you know I'm great—but I don't use no facts, " said Trump, who shares his coach's contempt for truth,"you just watch, folks." He proceeded to explain that facts hated him and Ms Clinton was exploiting that hostility.
"She wants to spread hate, folks, by using them facts. Why doesn't she spout lies like me? Why can't she say "Trump's great, folks"? That woman," said the Nominee, stressing the last word with disgust.
Meanwhile, Trump supporters—many of whom are floating former UKIPers—have launched a White House petition urging the American government to ban the use of truth in the Elections. "Trump shouldn't be responsible for anything he says, Truth is a bloody cod. Tiddle-winkle, Tinkle-mingle, boo-boo," said a prominent British fan of Trump who does not wish to be named.
Notably, Britain does have such an anti-truth system courtesy of which we have left a group of "domineering pillocks" and are now free to trade with that extremely wealthy Nigerian Prince.
We decided to do a Satirical post every week and what better day than Saturday. Turns out, satire rhymes with satur. Or does it? And anyway, it is a parody of Sunday, innit?
Jesus, we're clever clogs.
But we don't know if this series will survive—satire's outdated now. Who needs it when you have the status flippin' quo? We face stiff competition from mainstream media outlets that report real stuff.
Mate, we simply can't invent giant wall-building, misogynistic bullies or unelected, despotic turncoats--remind you of anybody? Apparently, the current political scenario can.
If we can't be funnier than real news, then what can we do? Well, we'll just have to be more believable. That's it; we'll be realistic.
Isn't that brilliant? Believable news, for a change. Aren't you pleased?
#1 The name's Gandhi. Karamchand Gandhi. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi
Not Ghandi. Not Gandy. It's that easy. Say Gaaandi. Good kid. But are you saying it right? In the standard English pronunciation, the h is silent. However, if your Gujarati is as good as mine, you'll know that there is a slight h attached to the d—the Gujarati letter ધ.
And yes, you can use the Sanskrit word for "high-souled", Mahatma, for me.
Bit of an overkill, innit?
#2 What's with the hate, mate?
I had my faults, yes, but I was never a hater. Never. Sometimes don't goddamn count, okay?
But look at y'all—and the people you're voting for. Ugh. They're using negativity strategically in political communication and you're taking the bate.
"It's us versus them" they say. But who is the "us" and who is the "they"?
The hunger games are on.
#3 "I must have called a thousand times...
Econmedy is like a financial newspaper for people with a sense of humour—and no attention span. Give us a try; we're not your typical teen cringe-fest.